4 most vexing questions of the past week

Image by Muffet via Flickr
  1. What name did Mary Shelley intend for the monster? I have always felt bad about the big guy. First off, he was illegally and unnaturally made by a mad scientist. Then he was forced to flee the police and the society while its creator was busy wooing his cousin. Finally, the monster offered to flee from the eyes of the human race and honeymoon forever in South America if only Victor would create a mate for him. Much like how people offered to pay Rakhi Sawant if only she would marry someone and just, y’know, go off. But what does Victor do? He kills off the unfinished mate, marries his cousin, and vows to kill the monster. Very unsportsmanlike. If it were today, this would have been enough for Arundhati Roy to take up the monster’s cause, Shiv Sena to kill off 30 North Indians, Anna Hazare to announce three separate fast unto deaths, and Bangalore techies to start a “Find a monster mate” campaign on FB. I would have ‘liked’ such a page. If only I knew how to search for it on FB. Hence the need to know its name.
  2. Why are people fascinated with moving displays? I find myself staring at elevator displays as the red digital numerals mind numbingly go from one floor to the next. And strangers stuck in an elevator find strange comfort in staring together at these numbers. What’s up with that?
  3. I have heard of actors relaxing by watching each other’s movies. Similarly, do the customer support people relax by listening to hilarious conversations of their co-workers? I would love to know. For instance, the other day, a relationship manager from a major bank called to talk to me about opening another account. As soon as she introduced herself, I wished her a very good evening and asked her, very friendly like, how she was and if she was doing fine. She immediately cut me off and explained, in very strained tones, that the call was being recorded for monitoring purposes. I was sure I could hear sniggers in the background.
  4. Finally, I hate homophones. I do not know why they exist. I would love to know. For those who don’t know what a homophone is… you lucky bastards. You are better off being ignorant. My hatred dates back to my childhood, when I went to a magic show and the magician announced that his lovely assistant was going to perform a three card monte. I assumed that she was going to do the full monty with the three cards.  Needless to say, I felt cheated at the end of the show. There ought to have been an FB page that made the difference clear to 10 year olds.