To suave or not to suave ?

Suave definition

I have an enormous amount of respect for folks who are naturally suave. You know the type – those who act as though they are to the manor born, while the rest of us muddle through life with all the sophistication of a lawn-mover. I have had the good fortune to meet a few of this species during my brief stint with this life. There were a couple in school, who managed to make beastly white shirts and navy blue trousers look cool, and who, although they could never solve a calculus problem nor remember why Prospero was angry with Ariel, nevertheless could be counted upon to shine during the dumb charades session come youth festival. These were the ones who were crowned Mr. Personality and Ms. Debonair.

Quick wit, repartee and confidence are all indicative of a certain command of language coupled with an active and quick intelligence. The former without the latter makes you look like Karna, who when push came to shove, could only stand in the mud and remonstrate Arjuna as he himself forgot how to fight. The latter without the former puts you in my league, where you can come up with sharp and biting replies to insults, though usually about 2 hours after the offending party has departed. Sometimes it takes up to 4 hours. But if you have both, you can really excel in your social life. Two examples that come to mind are Abraham Lincoln and a friend’s uncle. Lincoln gave a brilliant riposte to an inquisitive diplomat who walked into the president’s office and saw the great man shining his own shoes. The diplomat asked, “Mr President, you black your own boots?” “Yes,” said Lincoln. “Whose boots do you black?”. My friend’s uncle was a lawyer, not unlike Lincoln. Once directed by the judge to cross examine the witness, he rose, adjusted his gown and remarked, ‘I’ll examine the witness, your honour, but let me assure the court, I’m not at all cross.’

An excellent sense of sartorial style is another requirement. It’s what contributes to your polish and poise. You don’t need to wear expensive things, contrary to what Rohit Bal would have you believe. But you need to wear what you have with confidence. Me? I look like I’ve just stolen whatever I wear. I envy those folks who seem to be able to wear anything at all with elegance. And not just the thin, metabolically gifted models either. Even huge guys like Hafthor Bjornsson.

Thor_suave.jpg
Who’s your tailor now ?

Is being suave the only way to move ahead in life? Absolutely not. Donald Trump is now the most powerful man in the world. That ought to put paid to any such misconceptions. However, suavity is definitely a plus in being successful in life. Let’s do a thought exercise. Think of the three most successful people you know personally. Did you think of Thomas Kurien, Harish Kumar and Sreejith Menon? If you did, that’s because you are my mother. Else, I can bet you dollars to unniappams that at least two of whomever you thought of always manage to remain cool and collected under any circumstance, regardless of the severity. And that is a quality worth striving for. Me? I have a long way to go before I reach that state. Once, a particularly beautiful lady asked me directions to the nearest chemist, and in my panic, I told her how to get to my house. Although coming to think of it now….

 

ReaganvTrump
Spot the suave one out

Anyhow, chivalry and gallantry may be the only things I manage to pull off on a fairly regular basis. My level of chivalry though is limited to giving up my seat for kids and women in metro. But hey, what’s good enough for Keanu Reeves is good enough for me.

NB : For those who are still wondering why Prospero was angry with Ariel, here’s why.

Ariel had been a servant of Sycorax, a witch banished from Algiers (Algeria) and sent to a deserted island a long time ago. Ariel was too delicate a spirit to perform her horrible commands, so she imprisoned him in a “cloven pine”. Prospero released Ariel from that torment, and he was the only magician who could do so. He then proceeded to hold Ariel to that debt, forcing him to do his bidding. When Ariel complained that Prospero had promised him freedom, he proceeded to lose his shit and threw a tantrum, accusing Ariel of forgetting all that he had done for him. So, typical emotional blackmailing.

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